"What's Wrong with Her?!?" - The Negative Stigma Attached to Infertility

"What's wrong with her? Why can't she get pregnant? How long have they been married? Shouldn't they have kids by now?" Those are the questions buzzing amongst the bees (better known as the gossipers). And it is that FIRST question "what's wrong with her?" that brings so much shame and sorrow to the woman that has difficulty getting pregnant. Yes, a woman is built to bear children. Her genetic make up says so. Therefore, when that process is not easy, people often think that something is WRONG with her because she can't. As a result, all of the negative thoughts and negative emotions begin to brew within the suffering woman which makes her feel inadequate and less of a woman. Although the "talker" does not know the effect it has on a suffering woman, it does more damage than the talker may think. Well my mission is to dispel that stigma! We ARE women. NOTHING is wrong with us. Our road is simply different than yours. We have a road that is generally longer, a lot of the time harder, and definitely more emotionally draining. It doesn't make one party "better" than the other. Just different. Infertility is nothing to be ashamed of. I struggled with that feeling though. Even now, it still lingers. But the only way to get over fear is to face it. So I'm facing it. If one person, whether it be the talker or the sufferer, changes their view of this issue, I will feel like I've done something. Not to stop there, but change is change and that's something to be happy for.

Infertility is simply difficulty in getting pregnant. The actual definition is considered the INABILITY to conceive but through God all things are possible. Therefore, I have replaced the word inability with difficulty. There are MANY causes for this condition. But the one thing to remember is that no one ASKED for this. Does the person that has asthma ask for it? Does the person that has cancer ask for it? Does the person that has eczema ask for it? No. They don't. We didn't ask to be infertile. No one asks for the challenges they face so why make them feel like less of a person because of it. If anything, be a source of encouragement for them. Let them know they are not alone. Help me in changing the mentality of the people. Which first starts with changing YOUR mentality. "I'm starting with the man in the mirror....." - Michael Jackson.